I flash you a smile, share a hug, laugh profusely, dance like a freakin' fool, sing out of tune, and hang on to what keeps me sane. All of this is a description of my life. I love where I'm at and how it includes all the people that make my world the riot that it is. When I get out of bed I know that my day will be some sort of adventure; even if it's just laughing about nothing or genuinely smiling.
It's been a couple weeks of insane studying--early mornings, late nights, interspersed with class and work. I'm not sure if it's the lack of sleep that is making me more reflective, but I've had my moments of daydreaming that are offering a lot of clarity.
As I sit here in Moka (again) I can't help but think of what this year has given to me. My happiness is effusive even if it doesn't always show. I get tired and grumpy and a little gloomy, but when I stop to think about what I have I know I'm lucky. I can't accommodate to everyone though; I don't have the willpower to be able to please everyone because that's unfair. If I'm happy in an unselfish way, then why would I change to please one or two people? I cannot handle being judged for every damn thing I do. I will not conform to some status quo that one person has for me because I love my world, finally. I have no complaints--well, besides about school. It's that time of the semester though, sorry.
SO, I'm sorry I'm not sorry for being who I am or that I've changed. I'm sorry I'm not sorry that my life has not been stagnant and stuck in the past. I have changed into a better and more mature person than I was a year ago, and I think that's both a good thing and a normal thing. Sure, I don't mind a little advice from friends, but what I value most is that my friends trust my judgement just as I trust theirs. When they're honest with me they're not mean and don't jump to conclusions. I have no problem weeding out the negative either. I'm stronger than ever, please don't question that.
[over and out]
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